WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
