Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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