just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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