The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
