ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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