What did we do last night that was yellow?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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