Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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