Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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