You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
