I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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