your parents love me but you hate me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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