Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
