You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
