i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
