idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
