Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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