ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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