It's Friday. Sex?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize