yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The beer is more important than you right now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
