Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
