the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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