I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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