i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
