If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
