adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
