U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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