His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize