Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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