Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
