Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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