she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
