1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
