I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will be naked everywhere
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize