Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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