I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
