You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
