if i can run in heels then i can drive
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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