i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
