since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
