I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize