I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
