New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
