I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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