He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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