Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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