My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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