ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
