i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
