I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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