mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
