I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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