He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
