I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
