i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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