And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
