I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
