I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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