Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I look better un-naked...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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