Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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