are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize