He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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