I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
