I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
