I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
